{"id":19606,"date":"2017-03-30T20:00:25","date_gmt":"2017-03-30T20:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/?p=19606"},"modified":"2017-04-06T09:19:18","modified_gmt":"2017-04-06T09:19:18","slug":"how-to-glucksman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/how-to-glucksman\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Glucksman"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href = \"http:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/?s=Rebecca+Laffan\"><\/p>\n<h5>By Rebecca Laffan<\/h5>\n<p><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Okay I\u2019m in. I\u2019m committed.<\/p>\n<p>Jesus, it\u2019s roasting in here.<\/p>\n<p>Shite, where\u2019s my card?<\/p>\n<p>One day I will effortlessly beep in but today is just not that day people.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, just walk around me there. I know, I\u2019m a disgrace.<\/p>\n<p>STOP GLARING AT ME SECURITY GUARD CAN\u2019T YOU SEE I\u2019M FLUSTERED?<\/p>\n<p>Found it. Fab.<\/p>\n<p>Go on, beep you little bastard, you. Yes!<strong><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/3o85xpxuULZ1Svqizu\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\" frameBorder=\"0\" class=\"giphy-embed\" allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/chuber-arthur-library-card-3o85xpxuULZ1Svqizu\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>Stairs. Oh god, these stairs.<\/p>\n<p>I know it\u2019s physically impossible but what if I fell through these?<\/p>\n<p>Phone, I\u2019m holding on to you for dear life. I got you.<\/p>\n<p>Am I supposed to be on the left or right?<\/p>\n<p>Apparently, it\u2019s the left, dear god that was awkward.<\/p>\n<p>Fierce warm in here lads.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/hxPwHuAIk7cpW\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\" frameBorder=\"0\" class=\"giphy-embed\" allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/reaction-hxPwHuAIk7cpW\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>Find a seat. Find a seat.<\/p>\n<p>No, I am not giving you dirty looks, I\u2019m searching for an empty desk you seated eejit.<\/p>\n<p>There are more desks occupied by people\u2019s stuff than by actual people. This is madness.<\/p>\n<p>Is that rule about leaving stuff on your desk still in place?<\/p>\n<p>CAN WE TURN ON THE AC PLEASE I AM MELTING.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/OaegIr7dIGfjq\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\" frameBorder=\"0\" class=\"giphy-embed\" allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/funny-life-humor-OaegIr7dIGfjq\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>Is that water bottle and refill pad a pathetic attempt at marking territory?<\/p>\n<p>Oh, there\u2019s one final-ah shite. Just a very small human. Carry on.<\/p>\n<p>Oh oh, this person\u2019s packing up to go&#8230;I hope.<\/p>\n<p>Yep, waiting for you bro. Take your time. I\u2019ll just stand here like an idiot.<\/p>\n<p>FINALLY SEATED.<\/p>\n<p>Hoodie: Off.<\/p>\n<p>Headphones: In.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/JQQwgVUMDIyAM\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\" frameBorder=\"0\" class=\"giphy-embed\" allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/reaction-animated-90s-JQQwgVUMDIyAM\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>Now to lay out all my stuff neatly to feign productivity.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll have a sneaky glance at the neighbours sure while the laptop starts up.<\/p>\n<p>No talent today.<\/p>\n<p>Wait, I know that person.<\/p>\n<p>Did I match with them on Tinder?<\/p>\n<p>Please don\u2019t look up while I creepily study your face.<\/p>\n<p>Shit. Look away.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/jUwpNzg9IcyrK\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\" frameBorder=\"0\" class=\"giphy-embed\" allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/the-simpsons-scared-homer-simpson-jUwpNzg9IcyrK\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>Laptop, please co-operate.<\/p>\n<p>Might as well have brought the tumble dryer in here with me instead, why is it so loud?<\/p>\n<p>Did I bring my charger?<\/p>\n<p>Pfft of course not sure why would I do something so logical?<\/p>\n<p>Can the people around me hear my music?<\/p>\n<p>I smell food.<\/p>\n<p>Kind of hungry.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll eat when I have 300 words written.<\/p>\n<p>I should send everybody a Snapchat just so they\u2019re aware I\u2019m incredibly studious and whatnot.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/3o6gaRlqAGYhLyKNtC\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\" frameBorder=\"0\" class=\"giphy-embed\" allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/jimmy-fallon-jennifer-lopez-jlo-3o6gaRlqAGYhLyKNtC\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>Where\u2019s the book emoji?<\/p>\n<p>Quick Facebook check, you know, in case WWIII has broken out or something.<\/p>\n<p>Hahahaha tagging the lads in this, very true.<\/p>\n<p>Memes are great. I should make a meme. <\/p>\n<p>Is nobody else boiling in here?<\/p>\n<p>Wonder if I\u2019m anyone\u2019s library girlfriend?<\/p>\n<p>Naah.<\/p>\n<p>Better knuckle down I guess.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/IPbS5R4fSUl5S\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\" frameBorder=\"0\" class=\"giphy-embed\" allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/IPbS5R4fSUl5S\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_19606\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"19606\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\" data-prefix=\"far\" data-icon=\"chart-bar\" role=\"img\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" class=\"svg-inline--fa fa-chart-bar fa-w-16 fa-2x\"><path fill=\"currentColor\" d=\"M396.8 352h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8V108.8c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v230.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8zm-192 0h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8V140.8c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v198.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8zm96 0h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8V204.8c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v134.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8zM496 400H48V80c0-8.84-7.16-16-16-16H16C7.16 64 0 71.16 0 80v336c0 17.67 14.33 32 32 32h464c8.84 0 16-7.16 16-16v-16c0-8.84-7.16-16-16-16zm-387.2-48h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8v-70.4c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v70.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8z\" class=\"\"><\/path><\/svg><\/i> <img decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<a class=\"synved-social-button synved-social-button-share synved-social-size-48 synved-social-resolution-single synved-social-provider-facebook nolightbox\" data-provider=\"facebook\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" title=\"Share on Facebook\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie&#038;t=How%20to%20Glucksman&#038;s=100&#038;p&#091;url&#093;=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie&#038;p&#091;images&#093;&#091;0&#093;=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F03%2FUntitled-1-22.jpg&#038;p&#091;title&#093;=How%20to%20Glucksman\" style=\"font-size: 0px;width:48px;height:48px;margin:0;margin-bottom:5px;margin-right:5px\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Facebook\" title=\"Share on Facebook\" class=\"synved-share-image synved-social-image synved-social-image-share\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" style=\"display: inline;width:48px;height:48px;margin: 0;padding: 0;border: none;box-shadow: none\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/social-media-feather\/synved-social\/addons\/extra-icons\/image\/social\/circle\/96x96\/facebook.png\" \/><\/a><a class=\"synved-social-button synved-social-button-share synved-social-size-48 synved-social-resolution-single synved-social-provider-twitter nolightbox\" data-provider=\"twitter\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" title=\"Share on Twitter\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie&#038;text=Hey%20check%20this%20out\" style=\"font-size: 0px;width:48px;height:48px;margin:0;margin-bottom:5px;margin-right:5px\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"twitter\" title=\"Share on Twitter\" class=\"synved-share-image synved-social-image synved-social-image-share\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" style=\"display: inline;width:48px;height:48px;margin: 0;padding: 0;border: none;box-shadow: none\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/social-media-feather\/synved-social\/addons\/extra-icons\/image\/social\/circle\/96x96\/twitter.png\" \/><\/a><a class=\"synved-social-button synved-social-button-share synved-social-size-48 synved-social-resolution-single synved-social-provider-reddit nolightbox\" data-provider=\"reddit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" title=\"Share on Reddit\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/submit?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie&#038;title=How%20to%20Glucksman\" style=\"font-size: 0px;width:48px;height:48px;margin:0;margin-bottom:5px;margin-right:5px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"reddit\" title=\"Share on Reddit\" class=\"synved-share-image synved-social-image synved-social-image-share\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" style=\"display: inline;width:48px;height:48px;margin: 0;padding: 0;border: none;box-shadow: none\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/social-media-feather\/synved-social\/addons\/extra-icons\/image\/social\/circle\/96x96\/reddit.png\" \/><\/a><a class=\"synved-social-button synved-social-button-share synved-social-size-48 synved-social-resolution-single synved-social-provider-pinterest nolightbox\" data-provider=\"pinterest\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" title=\"Pin it with Pinterest\" href=\"https:\/\/pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie&#038;media=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F03%2FUntitled-1-22.jpg&#038;description=How%20to%20Glucksman\" style=\"font-size: 0px;width:48px;height:48px;margin:0;margin-bottom:5px;margin-right:5px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"pinterest\" title=\"Pin it with Pinterest\" class=\"synved-share-image synved-social-image synved-social-image-share\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" style=\"display: inline;width:48px;height:48px;margin: 0;padding: 0;border: none;box-shadow: none\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/social-media-feather\/synved-social\/addons\/extra-icons\/image\/social\/circle\/96x96\/pinterest.png\" \/><\/a><a class=\"synved-social-button synved-social-button-share synved-social-size-48 synved-social-resolution-single synved-social-provider-linkedin nolightbox\" data-provider=\"linkedin\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" title=\"Share on Linkedin\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&#038;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie&#038;title=How%20to%20Glucksman\" style=\"font-size: 0px;width:48px;height:48px;margin:0;margin-bottom:5px;margin-right:5px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"linkedin\" title=\"Share on Linkedin\" class=\"synved-share-image synved-social-image synved-social-image-share\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" style=\"display: inline;width:48px;height:48px;margin: 0;padding: 0;border: none;box-shadow: none\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/social-media-feather\/synved-social\/addons\/extra-icons\/image\/social\/circle\/96x96\/linkedin.png\" \/><\/a><a class=\"synved-social-button synved-social-button-share synved-social-size-48 synved-social-resolution-single synved-social-provider-mail nolightbox\" data-provider=\"mail\" rel=\"nofollow\" title=\"Share by email\" href=\"mailto:?subject=How%20to%20Glucksman&#038;body=Hey%20check%20this%20out:%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.anfocal.ie\" style=\"font-size: 0px;width:48px;height:48px;margin:0;margin-bottom:5px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"mail\" title=\"Share by email\" class=\"synved-share-image synved-social-image synved-social-image-share\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" style=\"display: inline;width:48px;height:48px;margin: 0;padding: 0;border: none;box-shadow: none\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/social-media-feather\/synved-social\/addons\/extra-icons\/image\/social\/circle\/96x96\/mail.png\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Rebecca Laffan Okay I\u2019m in. I\u2019m committed. Jesus, it\u2019s roasting in here. Shite, where\u2019s my card? One day I will effortlessly beep in but today is just not that day people. Yeah, just walk around me there. I know, I\u2019m a disgrace. STOP GLARING AT ME SECURITY GUARD CAN\u2019T YOU SEE I\u2019M FLUSTERED? Found [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_19606\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"19606\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\" data-prefix=\"far\" data-icon=\"chart-bar\" role=\"img\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" class=\"svg-inline--fa fa-chart-bar fa-w-16 fa-2x\"><path fill=\"currentColor\" d=\"M396.8 352h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8V108.8c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v230.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8zm-192 0h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8V140.8c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v198.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8zm96 0h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8V204.8c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v134.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8zM496 400H48V80c0-8.84-7.16-16-16-16H16C7.16 64 0 71.16 0 80v336c0 17.67 14.33 32 32 32h464c8.84 0 16-7.16 16-16v-16c0-8.84-7.16-16-16-16zm-387.2-48h22.4c6.4 0 12.8-6.4 12.8-12.8v-70.4c0-6.4-6.4-12.8-12.8-12.8h-22.4c-6.4 0-12.8 6.4-12.8 12.8v70.4c0 6.4 6.4 12.8 12.8 12.8z\" class=\"\"><\/path><\/svg><\/i> <img decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19609,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[101838],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19606","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts-culture-fuinneamh"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":23,"today_views":0},"views":2270,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Untitled-1-22.jpg","wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19606","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19606"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19606\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19612,"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19606\/revisions\/19612"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}