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<\/p>\nThe last week of semester one has arrived! Who\u2019s going on to semester two and who\u2019s in for an unfortunate welding accident?<\/p>\n
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Don\u2019t it always seem to go that you don\u2019t know what you got \u2018til it\u2019s gone. You\u2019ll learn the true meaning of that statement this Friday as you realise the library has run out of toilet paper at the worst possible time.<\/p>\n
The moment it\u2019s all been leading to will arrive this week. Some people never get over the night their band supported Hozier. Some people dine out on their 1996 Rionn B final win for decades. You will conquer all previous ambitions this week as you smash not one but two portions of hot wings at Coqbull.<\/p>\n
A long contemplation on the minimalist aesthetic of your apartment this weekend will lead you to the slow realisation that you\u2019ve been the victim of a burglary.<\/p>\n
After two decades of making poor decisions based on a \u201cgut feeling\u201d, you\u2019ll finally learn that you have irritable bowel syndrome. It will explain a lot of exes.<\/p>\n
This week, you will be surprised and delighted at not just the flavour sensations but also the affordable prices at Coqbull Castletroy. Come for the burgers, stay for the atmosphere.<\/p>\n
Appreciate the now this week. Take some solace in what the future holds. You may be feeling behind on your coursework this week. But you\u2019re not as behind as you\u2019ll be on your mortgage payments in 2028.<\/p>\n
Your lotto numbers this week are 6, 7, 14, 22, 32, 46, and 47. They were also the winning numbers last week. But who says lightning never strikes twice? Also, you\u2019ll be struck by lightning again at noon on Wednesday.<\/p>\n
You find yourself this week stressing over present ideas as Christmas looms ever closer. Why not give your loved ones the gift of chicken and a great night out with a sneaky Coqbull voucher? Valid at all Coqbull locations nationwide.<\/p>\n
Disappointment in store this week as you learn your newly engaged ex\u2019s \u201ccommitment issues\u201d were really just \u201ccommitment to you\u201d issues.<\/p>\n
They say the early bird catches the worm. At Coqbull, the Early Bird menu catches great savings every day before 7:30pm. I see a little extra pocket money in your future this weekend!<\/p>\n
A handsome, mysterious stranger will knock on your door this Thursday with a request. They\u2019d like to see your television license. Busted.<\/p>\n
You will receive a very tempting sponsorship opportunity for your horoscopes column this week from a local chicken and burger concept restaurant. You will refuse to give in however on account of your strong integrity as a mystic.<\/p>\n