Stuck for a date this Valentine\u2019s Day? Looking to add a little spice into your relationship? Maybe you\u2019re thinking about taking things to the next level with your most recent Hinge date. Whatever your lovelorn problems might be this February 14, resident agony aunt Adam\u2019s got you covered!<\/p>\n
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This all seems pretty legit to me. I say go for it.<\/p>\n
I mean, you\u2019ve been talking to him on Tinder now for a couple of weeks. You\u2019ve gotten to know each other. Surely you\u2019d know by now if this guy is on the level or not. Besides, sometimes couples need to help each other out!<\/p>\n
Think of this not as an expense or a favour to your new boo, but as an investment in your future.<\/p>\n
Though I would say, maybe avoid Netflix\u2019s most watched list for a while.<\/p>\n
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I\u2019m with you bud. This needless celebration of love is nothing more than a trick to bamboozle you out of your money and your time. And what do you get in return? Affection, a hand to hold, and a warm smile spreading across your girlfriend\u2019s face? Pfft. Stand up for what you believe in or risk being a real hypocrite!<\/p>\n
Might I suggest though. Why stop there? Do you guys really need to celebrate Christmas? The birth of a supposed prophet we\u2019re not really that sure actually existed? And, even at that, marked on a date we already know wasn\u2019t set until more than 300 years after the supposed man\u2019s estimated birth? Sounds pretty suspect to me. Best leave it out.<\/p>\n
And birthdays. What are birthdays? Just annual reminders of the pain of an existence we never asked for in the first place. Either celebrate being alive every day or don\u2019t celebrate it at all.<\/p>\n
Apropos of nothing, I believe Bumble is doing some kind of discount on subscription for Valentine\u2019s week, should you find yourself in need of such a service over the next few days.<\/p>\n
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This is a pretty common problem for a lot of couples who\u2019ve been together a long time. In any good relationship \u2013 just as in a dodgy, overrated 1960s sci-fi novel that\u2019s been rebooted more times than Lana Del Rey\u2019s career \u2013 the spice must flow.<\/p>\n
My prescription for this Valentine\u2019s Day is try something a little different! Lots of couples find roleplay really helps spice things up. One of the most common roleplay dates for couples in need of little excitement is the hotel encounter. I\u2019ll talk you through it.<\/p>\n
Arrange to meet your boyfriend at a nice hotel. Arrive separately \u2013 you aren\u2019t a couple tonight, you\u2019re two strangers who\u2019ve never met before in their lives.<\/p>\n
Dress nice. This is going to be your second chance at a first impression. Think something that will get his blood going!<\/p>\n
When you arrive, you\u2019ll spot your boyfriend at a table near the back of the bar. Don\u2019t sit down at the table right away. Let it linger. It\u2019s all about the suspense. The tension.<\/p>\n
At the bar, you\u2019ll see a handsome man in a well-fitted suit. Go talk to him. His name\u2019s Alfonse, he\u2019ll say, he\u2019s an old fashioned 19th<\/sup> century robber baron.<\/p>\n After a couple of daiquiris with Alfonse, he\u2019ll invite you to see his yacht parked up at Barrington\u2019s Pier. You\u2019ll go with him and be frankly blown away by the extravagance of it all.<\/p>\n After a three-week yacht sojourn around the Mediterranean with Alfonse on his yacht, the wealthy tycoon will present you with the absolute biggest ruby you\u2019ve ever seen. We\u2019re talking the Pete Davidson\u2019s\u2026 charisma\u2026 of rubies here. In a whirlwind of emotion, you\u2019ll accept his proposal and be married in the summer at the Venice Biennale.<\/p>\n Five years down the line, Alfonse isn\u2019t the same man you thought he was that night at Barrington\u2019s Pier. He\u2019s spending far too much time at the salt mine and you have a creeping feeling he might have another wife and three children somewhere on the other side of the Atlantic. You\u2019ll begin to question the direction life has taken you. Your mind will dart back to a 22-year-old man sitting in a hotel bar in Limerick, a look of utter confusion on his face.<\/p>\n At this point, having gotten sufficiently into character, return to the hotel bar. You\u2019ll find your old flame still sitting there nursing a Tom Collins and staring out the window in a catatonic stupor brought on by sheer bewilderment.<\/p>\n Approach him. Tell him your name. Ask him his. Declare that you\u2019re happy to meet him. Order a round of daiquiris and explain that you\u2019re a wealthy divorc\u00e9e on the run from a neglectful husband and you\u2019re looking to find someone who\u2019ll treat you right.<\/p>\n He\u2019ll be hesitant at first. Probably questioning his sanity, mumbling quietly and rocking back and forth. At this point, show him your hotel key and tell him that you\u2019re staying in room 22 if he\u2019d like to come up for a coffee.<\/p>\n Where the night goes from there is entirely up to you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Have you got a problem you\u2019d like Adam\u2019s help with? Drop him a message on @a_leahy<\/a> on Twitter!<\/p>\n