{"id":3445,"date":"2012-04-26T15:00:12","date_gmt":"2012-04-26T15:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/?p=3445"},"modified":"2012-05-08T15:13:17","modified_gmt":"2012-05-08T15:13:17","slug":"bear-finally-snared","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.anfocal.ie\/index.php\/bear-finally-snared\/","title":{"rendered":"Bear Finally Snared"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Aubrey O’Connell<\/em><\/p>\n

NEGATIVE temperatures, torrential downpours, the terrain is covered in broken glass and I\u2019ve forgotten my ID. I\u2019m Bear Grylls, it\u2019s March 17, and I\u2019m lost on O\u2019Connell Street.<\/p>\n

While this probably wasn\u2019t the pitch made by the Discovery Channel for his next show, the ex SAS man has still refused to cooperate on further episodes of his hit \u2018Man vs. Wild\u2019 show.\u00a0 However, he has vowed that there\u2019s a \u201cnext set of adventures\u201d to come. But really, after you\u2019ve done Ireland, what is there left to do?<\/p>\n

The Born Survivor infamously visited the West of Ireland, noting it as an \u201cunforgiving place\u201d, drawing little more than sniggers from his Irish viewers. Being thrown off a boat a kilometre from shore, he proceeded to take the most scenic (and difficult) route possible when trying to reach civilisation. English viewers surely enjoyed pointing out to their television sets that he\u2019s on the wrong island if he\u2019s looking for civilisation.<\/p>\n

In fact the Irish countryside was so forgiving he had to scale a cliff then jump back into the water and repeat just to create the illusion of a challenge. Once on dry land he encountered treacherous wildlife like bushes and a dead seal. If he\u2019d actually walked towards the road he\u2019d have found about seven pubs! C\u2019mon Bear, have you not been to Kilkee?<\/p>\n

Okay, so his Irish adventures weren\u2019t exactly perilous. Indeed, I\u2019d put money on any of you getting from the shore to a road without needing to disembowel a sheep, eat its raw heart, then float across a lake with all your clothes stuffed inside its carcass. For no amount of craic would that be worth it!<\/p>\n

But the man does know how to survive.\u00a0 Look around you now and let the first person you see be the alternative to Mr Grylls in a life or death situation. Who would you pick? (I\u2019m hoping it isn\u2019t like a better survivalist or that guy from\u00a0the Old Spice ad). Bet he doesn\u2019t look so stupid now!<\/p>\n

On that note, we\u2019ll bid a fond farewell to Bear Grylls. Thank you for taking deadly stings to the face, hiding inside animal carcasses and teaching us that drinking your own urine isn\u2019t just for when the offy is closed. You\u2019ll live on in UL memes.<\/p>\n

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Aubrey O’Connell NEGATIVE temperatures, torrential downpours, the terrain is covered in broken glass and I\u2019ve forgotten my ID. I\u2019m Bear Grylls, it\u2019s March 17, and I\u2019m lost on O\u2019Connell Street. While this probably wasn\u2019t the pitch made by the Discovery Channel for his next show, the ex SAS man has still refused to cooperate on […]<\/p>\n

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