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Existence of Irony Confirmed in the Middle East

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By Lorcán Murray

It is a question that has challenged civilisations since the dawn of man. Scholars, philosophers and drunken fools alike have stumbled home debased after hours trying to address it.

What is Irony? Does it even exist? And if it does, are we sure we are using it right?

Well over the last year, led by the trails of a fleeing red cross, the answer has been found in the sands of Syria.

A flesh-eating virus has begun spreading throughout the war-ravaged country, infecting hundreds of people including members of ISIS.

As for the sceptics, they claim: “but this is just one phenomenon it doesn’t prove anything!”

I understand your doubt; I too was raised to believe Irony meant one thing only to discover in young adulthood that no one I trusted really knew what they were talking about.

Reports state that the fighters for ISIS are refusing treatment for the disease and have driven out all the medical agencies that were attempting to curb the spread of the virus over the last year.

There is literally a plague running through the streets of the Islamic Caliphates capital, Raqqa.

We spoke to Famine, one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, who have been holidaying in the region.

Famine said: “Well it’s been a great few years here, real old testament kinda vibe, very nostalgic.

“War copped it first back in 2011, invited the rest of us, Death and me got here pretty quickly but Pesty really took his time, something in Africa held him up,” he added.

With the discovery of the true meaning of Irony many great minds are wondering how this will impact the sitcom-writing world.

Not to mention what great question should we next turn to?

Climate change is the big favourite, but vaccinations remain a dark horse.

At the time of going to press God was unavailable for comment.

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